"Until the whole world hears, Lord we are calling out, lifting up Your name for all who hear the sound, like voices in the wilderness we are calling out, until the day draws near we'll sing until the whole world hears."-Casting Crowns, Until the Whole World Hears
I sing a song with my life. With this song, I hope that people hear this as the message of the song: a relationship with Jesus Christ is everything you need to satisfy you and fill you. Nothing else in the world will satisfy you or give you strength like He will, and until you turn to Him you'll be disappointed with everything else. I want to sing this song until the whole world hears it.
Lately, I've had an even bigger reason to sing this song. The other day, I was thinking about some of the things that have happened to me recently and how I have every reason to be bitter and angry at myself and the world. But instead, I am finding hope in Christ alone and I am smiling and laughing, still standing. It was a journey, though.
For several months I was in a relationship with someone who I cared about very much. Although our relationship wasn't perfect by any means, I realize now that I truly loved him. I still believe that he is a great guy. Anyways, I gave this guy all of my love and acceptance. I tried so hard to make our relationship work. It was finally at a point where I was very happy with him and I believed he felt the same way with me.
That was my world on April 6, 2011 as I overslept, skipped breakfast, and ran out the door fifteen minutes late with no makeup on. I had to be at work in Jacksonville at 8, and it was 7:30. Looking both ways, I made a left turn onto Highway 90, thinking that it was clear. But it turned out that I hadn't seen a car coming. I heard a huge smacking noise, smelled gasoline and burnt metal. I stared at my broken windows. Realizing that I had been in a major car accident, I quickly called 911.
"There's someone injured," they told me when I crawled out of the car. Sure enough, the other driver hadn't been wearing their seatbelt and wasn't able to get out of the car. They were crying about pain in their neck. I was so scared. This had to be some type of terrible nightmare. The ambulance came and after loading the driver onto the stretcher, they raced to the hospital. At that point, I wanted to die. My car was totaled, but I didn't care. I just wanted the other person to be okay. I could hardly live with the guilt of knowing that I had accidentally hurt someone.
During that time, my boyfriend became the person I confided in. He held me as I cried after the accident two days later and listened to me sob for hours. I told him all my thoughts, my anxieties, everything. He was my security, the one person who was helping me get through it. I remember thinking to myself, "If I lose him, I will have nothing."
It's funny how things happen, because three weeks later he told me that he didn't love me anymore, and two days after that we broke up. I thought my life was over.
But the day we had our major fight on Wednesday, I ran into my room, bawling and angry at God for possibly taking away the most important person in my life and the only thing I had left. On my bed appeared an old tattered book. I looked at it and realized it was my Bible. This had to be some sick joke of God, because I had my Bible in the car with me the day of the accident, and I thought that I lost it in the wreckage. Sure enough, my mom retrieved the Bible out of the car for me and had saved it. I began to read a verse that I had underlined two years ago when I read the Bible front to cover:
"We have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon You."-2 Chronicles 20:12
I knew that God had put the Bible on my bed to remind me that when my world was falling apart and that I had gone through the worst thing I could imagine, He was the only one who I could still stand on. It was also to get my attention, for Him to tell me that He needed to be number one in my life. When my "vast army" attacked me, I had no clue what to do, so I had to turn my eyes upon God.
When my boyfriend left me three weeks after my accident, I instead turned to God for strength. That's the only place where I found peace and strength beyond measure. I studied my Bible and prayed every night. God became my best friend again. But most of all, I was satisfied in God even though I had every reason to hate my life and be bitter.
This is the song I sing: that when your world is falling out from under you, God is the solid rock you can stand on. When you feel empty, the joy of knowing Jesus will fill you like anything else. If you are abandoned by everyone you love, God will never leave you or foresake you. If you feel like you can't overcome the storms of this life, you know that you have the One who calmed the storms in charge. This is the song that I sing, in hopes that you may, too hear it and sing along.
Until the whole world hears,
Caroline
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Where Did He Go???
I could feel His presence-everywhere-during my travels last year.
It didn't matter if I was leading a Bible study in Spanish during my time at Mission Centers of Houston, if I was at St. Paul's Catholic Church in New York City or if I was visiting the Orthodox monastery outside of Kiev, Ukraine. I could feel the Holy Spirit in all of these places where believers meet to worship God. "When two or three gather in My name, there I am with them," Jesus said in Matthew 18:20. Sure enough, this is typical of Jesus to be found where people are meeting to honor Yahweh. When Jesus was twelve years old and his parents couldn't find him one time, where was he? In the temple, duh. Mary and Joseph thought that worse had come to worst, that some crazy man had kidnapped Jesus, and they were epic fails as parents of the dude who was supposed to be the Messiah. "Where did he go?" they asked, freaking out. But sure enough, Jesus was in the temple, speaking. "Of course I'd be in my Father's house," Jesus replied to his worried parents. I mean, it makes sense. If we want to find Jesus, shouldn't we go to the temple/church?
I believe that if we go to any place where people are gathered in God's name and seek God, we will find God's presence. We will see Him in some new way if we are truly looking. However, the Bible says that there's a new type of temple-us. Christians have the spirit of Christ-the Holy Spirit-living inside of them. In Jewish terms, the place where the Holy Spirit is is the temple. Therefore, it says in the book of Romans that Christians are a temple of God. But my question is this: if Jesus is supposed to be found in the temple, is He really found in our hearts today? Can people, like Mary and Joseph, who are looking for Jesus find Him in our lives? In our actions? In the words that we say? We are the temple. Is he there like he's supposed to be?
Every day, people are looking for Jesus. They're looking for him and wondering to see if He's the real deal about what we Christians say about him and whatnot. Can they find Him in the temple-our hearts? Is He evident in our lifestyles, in our little actions, in our motives? Jesus is supposed to be found in the temple. If he's not really found in our lives, maybe He was never really in us in the first place.
It didn't matter if I was leading a Bible study in Spanish during my time at Mission Centers of Houston, if I was at St. Paul's Catholic Church in New York City or if I was visiting the Orthodox monastery outside of Kiev, Ukraine. I could feel the Holy Spirit in all of these places where believers meet to worship God. "When two or three gather in My name, there I am with them," Jesus said in Matthew 18:20. Sure enough, this is typical of Jesus to be found where people are meeting to honor Yahweh. When Jesus was twelve years old and his parents couldn't find him one time, where was he? In the temple, duh. Mary and Joseph thought that worse had come to worst, that some crazy man had kidnapped Jesus, and they were epic fails as parents of the dude who was supposed to be the Messiah. "Where did he go?" they asked, freaking out. But sure enough, Jesus was in the temple, speaking. "Of course I'd be in my Father's house," Jesus replied to his worried parents. I mean, it makes sense. If we want to find Jesus, shouldn't we go to the temple/church?
I believe that if we go to any place where people are gathered in God's name and seek God, we will find God's presence. We will see Him in some new way if we are truly looking. However, the Bible says that there's a new type of temple-us. Christians have the spirit of Christ-the Holy Spirit-living inside of them. In Jewish terms, the place where the Holy Spirit is is the temple. Therefore, it says in the book of Romans that Christians are a temple of God. But my question is this: if Jesus is supposed to be found in the temple, is He really found in our hearts today? Can people, like Mary and Joseph, who are looking for Jesus find Him in our lives? In our actions? In the words that we say? We are the temple. Is he there like he's supposed to be?
Every day, people are looking for Jesus. They're looking for him and wondering to see if He's the real deal about what we Christians say about him and whatnot. Can they find Him in the temple-our hearts? Is He evident in our lifestyles, in our little actions, in our motives? Jesus is supposed to be found in the temple. If he's not really found in our lives, maybe He was never really in us in the first place.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Using a Basketball to Play Soccer is Lame!
I’ve been feeling slightly bummed since Wednesday. Why? A year ago on Wednesday, I left Jacksonville to go live in Houston, Texas for nine weeks and work at an inner-city mission. Had God led me back there this year, I would have left on Tuesday. I have such good memories of that special place and I have great friends from there. I know that God has plans for me these last two months that I live with my parents before moving away in August, but my heart longs to be a little place called Mission Centers of Houston….:(
One of the many amazing memories I have of Houston is working with the kids that lived in Fletcher Mission's community, which was the mission I was assigned to by Mission Centers of Houston. The kids would come to the mission Monday-Thursday during the afternoons and be part of an event called Kids' Club, which is basically like a Vacation Bible School. During free time, the kids would always get to play with the toys we had for them at the mission.
One day as I was on "make sure the kids don't kill each other" duty, I saw two little boys playing soccer. They had the little minature goal set up and everything. Only to my horror, the soccer ball began to bounce and dribble up and down. They weren't playing with a soccer ball. They were playing soccer with a basketball. "This can't fly," I muttered to myself and went to go do something about it. Playing soccer with a basketball was just begging for disatre (disaster). So I went over to the kids and told them not to use a basketball to play soccer. I then went to the toys closet and got a nice soccer ball for them to play with.
"Use this, you guys. Here, give me the basketball." The kids looked at me and one of them started whining.
"Pero esta pelota es MIA!!!!!" (this ball is mine) cried the boy. "Si, pero tengo algo mejor para ti. Pero para recibirla, me tienes que dar lo que tienes ahora." (Yes, but I have something better for you. But in order to get it, you have to give me what you have now.) The boy wouldn't cooperate so I finally had to snatch the ball from him. Yeah he wasn't a happy chico and because he was a pain I didn't give him the soccer ball right away as payback/discipline. But...when he finally did get the soccer ball he realized it was a lot better to play soccer with.
When you're a kid toys mean the world to you. When someone wants to take away your toy, your life is over practically, never mind the fact that they have something better in store for you! I believe that we can learn a lot from kids as people. Sometimes in our lives we have things that mean a lot to us, such as a position at work, a dating relationship, a friendship, a career, whatever. When that thing is taken from us, we freak out. Little do we know that when God takes something away from us, He has something better for us. He knows that that thing in our lives is just like a kid trying to play soccer with a basketball: something that just doesn't belong there or that could prevent us from doing everything to fulfill our purpose. It feels like we've lost everything and that we'll never, ever get something better. But the truth is, when God takes away it's because He has something better for us. He has a purpose in mind for us that won't be properly fulfilled if that obstacle is in our lives, so He takes it away to give us something better and more suited for His purpose. He needs to give that basketball to someone who is trying to play basketball and that soccer ball to you, who is trying to play soccer.
"The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me," says Psalm 138:8. I fully believe that He will do this, even if that means taking away things from us sometimes to give us something better and fulfill His purpose for us. Because after all, using a basketball to play soccer is lame!
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Adventures, Love and Love
What a morning! I'm eating my favorite breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast all so nicely fixed into a sandwich with a bit of mayonaise on top...yum! Being the typical college student that I am, I had some homework due at midnight yesterday in two of my online classes. When did I start on it? Ha, I started on it as soon as I got home from work at 6. What time did I submit it? 11:55 P.M. But I made it!! :) Anyways...that was totally off topic. But seriously, who DOESN"T procrastinate in college? If my mother were here right now (or maybe she's even reading this blog entry!) I just know what she'd say: "Caroline, may God help the man who is going to marry you, because every day he lives with you is going to be an adventure." Oh, he's going to have all kinds of things with me alright, and adventures are going to be at the top of the list!!! Let's talk about what my lucky future hubby will be facing on a day-to-day basis with me. Besides, on the 30 Day Song Challenge on Facebook I'm supposed to post a song I want to play at my wedding, and I can't decide between "Not Like the Movies" by Katy Perry or "The Day Before You" by Matthew West, so weddings/marriage is currently on my mind. :)
1. Adventure! Some of these will be great, some of these adventures will be challenging. For example, recently I have been sitting in a Bible study and as I closed my Bible, all of the pages fell out, no joke. A few months later, I was late for my sister's graduation and since my seat was on the reserved seating on the field, I literally had to run between students (who were starting to walk) and jump to the seats. Awkward!!! But I hope some of the adventures my husband has with me are great. For example, I like to give food away to homeless people and talk to them. I love to help people in need. One of my biggest dreams is to travel and live overseas for a while, and if I'm lucky my husband will think that's an adventure, too. Most of all, I live an adventure each day as I get closer to God and see how indescribable He is. My husband will be living adventures with God, too.
2. Love. Hahaha okay that totally sounds cheesy....but let me expound! I'm going to love my husband, period. But when I say love, I'm not just going to think that he's hot or that he makes a great companion. I am going to love him, and when I say love, I mean serve him. There are going to be times when he is in a bad mood and not so loveable, but I'm going to be there for him and be the support that he needs. He might do silly little things that drive me crazy, such as popping his gum, but I'm going to not let that bug me. I'm going to be his cheerleader when he needs encouragement, yet I'm going to be honest with him when he's messed up. However, I will be honest in a gentle and loving way. I will be madly in love with everything about him and I will happily tell my friends what a great husband I married. Finally, I will never stop loving him. When I say "I do," I do not take that lightly. I will be with him until "death do us part." I will always love him unconditionally. I will love him with a John 15:14 love. I will happily lay down my life for him.
3. Love. I'm mentioning this twice because love is two ways. If a marriage is going to be successfull (thanks Dale Johnson, my old New Testament professor, for this analogy!) then the man has to give everything to the woman unselfishly and the woman must give everything to the man unselfishly. The love for each other must be a two-way street. I will love my husband and in order for our marriage to be a success, he must also love me. My husband will serve me. He will be there for me when I'm grumpy, have nothing to say, or when my world is falling apart. He will listen to me when I need to talk and will hold me in my arms as I cry. There are going to be some moments where I will not be loveable and yet he will overcome that fact and still love me. I will be his most valued treasure and he will boast of me. We will go through hard times in our marriage with life's events, but we will never give up. He will love me until "death do us part."
There are so many other little things that my husband will probably have to go through with me, but as he goes through the day-to-day adventures of being married to a red head named Caroline, my only requirements are that he goes through adventures with God, meaning that he has a growing relationship with God, and that he will love me despite my weaknesses. When I close my eyes and imagine my marriage one day, I know that it will be made up of adventures, love and love. I cannot wait until that day...
1. Adventure! Some of these will be great, some of these adventures will be challenging. For example, recently I have been sitting in a Bible study and as I closed my Bible, all of the pages fell out, no joke. A few months later, I was late for my sister's graduation and since my seat was on the reserved seating on the field, I literally had to run between students (who were starting to walk) and jump to the seats. Awkward!!! But I hope some of the adventures my husband has with me are great. For example, I like to give food away to homeless people and talk to them. I love to help people in need. One of my biggest dreams is to travel and live overseas for a while, and if I'm lucky my husband will think that's an adventure, too. Most of all, I live an adventure each day as I get closer to God and see how indescribable He is. My husband will be living adventures with God, too.
2. Love. Hahaha okay that totally sounds cheesy....but let me expound! I'm going to love my husband, period. But when I say love, I'm not just going to think that he's hot or that he makes a great companion. I am going to love him, and when I say love, I mean serve him. There are going to be times when he is in a bad mood and not so loveable, but I'm going to be there for him and be the support that he needs. He might do silly little things that drive me crazy, such as popping his gum, but I'm going to not let that bug me. I'm going to be his cheerleader when he needs encouragement, yet I'm going to be honest with him when he's messed up. However, I will be honest in a gentle and loving way. I will be madly in love with everything about him and I will happily tell my friends what a great husband I married. Finally, I will never stop loving him. When I say "I do," I do not take that lightly. I will be with him until "death do us part." I will always love him unconditionally. I will love him with a John 15:14 love. I will happily lay down my life for him.
3. Love. I'm mentioning this twice because love is two ways. If a marriage is going to be successfull (thanks Dale Johnson, my old New Testament professor, for this analogy!) then the man has to give everything to the woman unselfishly and the woman must give everything to the man unselfishly. The love for each other must be a two-way street. I will love my husband and in order for our marriage to be a success, he must also love me. My husband will serve me. He will be there for me when I'm grumpy, have nothing to say, or when my world is falling apart. He will listen to me when I need to talk and will hold me in my arms as I cry. There are going to be some moments where I will not be loveable and yet he will overcome that fact and still love me. I will be his most valued treasure and he will boast of me. We will go through hard times in our marriage with life's events, but we will never give up. He will love me until "death do us part."
There are so many other little things that my husband will probably have to go through with me, but as he goes through the day-to-day adventures of being married to a red head named Caroline, my only requirements are that he goes through adventures with God, meaning that he has a growing relationship with God, and that he will love me despite my weaknesses. When I close my eyes and imagine my marriage one day, I know that it will be made up of adventures, love and love. I cannot wait until that day...
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Las Cositas (Little Things)
I love how we spend all of our lives trying to figure out what God's plan is when oftentimes, He sends little clues to show us what we're supposed to do with our lives.
Take this morning for example. I woke up at like 9 and worked on a new song I'm learning on the piano. I then cooked bacon and eggs for my sister and I. I know most people wouldn't do this, but I worked on Spanish a bit. Then I sat down, ate my breakfast, and decided to do some blogging while I have time to kill. After this, I'm going to study the Bible for a bit, then go for a walk and go swimming. After that it's homework time, and then I tutor this afternoon.
These actions sound pretty normal. But if you look at each action I did, there's a thought. If you look behind each thought I was having as I did those actions, it revealed the desires I have on my heart. Let's look and see.
Working on song for piano-Well, this song was actually a Taylor Swift song that I've been relating to lately haha. But usually when I play piano I play worship songs or old hymns to help me worship God. I know that even though it's the hardest thing I have to do, I have to love God with my actions and let love not just be a song I play on the piano.
Cooking breakfast-I love to cook and I wish I was able to do it more. When I was cooking breakfast for two, I was imagining what it'll be like to cook for my husband one day. I know that God has put this desire on my heart to get married.
Spanish-Um I am absolutely crazy because I don't know many people who would speak Spanish aloud to themselves just to practice it and refresh their minds of old vocabulary??? But I know that God has put Spanish on my heart for a reason. I want to teach it to high school students one day, spend time overseas for at least a semester, and do translation work for people in the US. I also want to teach English as a Second Language.
Blogging-I like to write and talk about things I've learned in life. I always have a story to tell. I hope that one day I can use my life experiences to help people and teach people.
Bible-This is simple. I need God and to read about what He has to teach me that day. I've heard it like this: B.asic I.nstructions B.efore L.eaving E.arth.
Exercise-I love to walk and swim because it's fun! I'm trying to get in shape and lose a bit of the Freshman 15, so it's a great way to do it. When I exercise, I think about life. For some reason, when I walk I start daydreaming about living overseas in somewhere like Guatemala where I'd have to do a lot of walking..and that makes me really excited!
Homework-When I do my homework, I think about just getting it over with ha! But in my heart, I know that by taking these courses for my degree, I'm one step closer to being a teacher and that makes me excited.
Tutoring-I love my job as a tutor for my college's foreign language lab and also as a private tutor for high school students. I've gotten to where I look forward to this job. When I do this, I think about how I cannot wait to be a teacher one day and how I can make hard material easier to understand.
All of these little actions I do on a random day like Tuesday have thoughts that I think as I do each thing. If you look at all of my thoughts, you can see the desires I have on my heart. These show me what God wants me to do with my life-be a Spanish teacher, spend some time overseas, encouraging people, more than likely teenagers, getting married, and more. If you don't know what you want to do with your life, just look at the little things you do each day and what you're thinking as you do them. You can find your desires in no time :)
Take this morning for example. I woke up at like 9 and worked on a new song I'm learning on the piano. I then cooked bacon and eggs for my sister and I. I know most people wouldn't do this, but I worked on Spanish a bit. Then I sat down, ate my breakfast, and decided to do some blogging while I have time to kill. After this, I'm going to study the Bible for a bit, then go for a walk and go swimming. After that it's homework time, and then I tutor this afternoon.
These actions sound pretty normal. But if you look at each action I did, there's a thought. If you look behind each thought I was having as I did those actions, it revealed the desires I have on my heart. Let's look and see.
Working on song for piano-Well, this song was actually a Taylor Swift song that I've been relating to lately haha. But usually when I play piano I play worship songs or old hymns to help me worship God. I know that even though it's the hardest thing I have to do, I have to love God with my actions and let love not just be a song I play on the piano.
Cooking breakfast-I love to cook and I wish I was able to do it more. When I was cooking breakfast for two, I was imagining what it'll be like to cook for my husband one day. I know that God has put this desire on my heart to get married.
Spanish-Um I am absolutely crazy because I don't know many people who would speak Spanish aloud to themselves just to practice it and refresh their minds of old vocabulary??? But I know that God has put Spanish on my heart for a reason. I want to teach it to high school students one day, spend time overseas for at least a semester, and do translation work for people in the US. I also want to teach English as a Second Language.
Blogging-I like to write and talk about things I've learned in life. I always have a story to tell. I hope that one day I can use my life experiences to help people and teach people.
Bible-This is simple. I need God and to read about what He has to teach me that day. I've heard it like this: B.asic I.nstructions B.efore L.eaving E.arth.
Exercise-I love to walk and swim because it's fun! I'm trying to get in shape and lose a bit of the Freshman 15, so it's a great way to do it. When I exercise, I think about life. For some reason, when I walk I start daydreaming about living overseas in somewhere like Guatemala where I'd have to do a lot of walking..and that makes me really excited!
Homework-When I do my homework, I think about just getting it over with ha! But in my heart, I know that by taking these courses for my degree, I'm one step closer to being a teacher and that makes me excited.
Tutoring-I love my job as a tutor for my college's foreign language lab and also as a private tutor for high school students. I've gotten to where I look forward to this job. When I do this, I think about how I cannot wait to be a teacher one day and how I can make hard material easier to understand.
All of these little actions I do on a random day like Tuesday have thoughts that I think as I do each thing. If you look at all of my thoughts, you can see the desires I have on my heart. These show me what God wants me to do with my life-be a Spanish teacher, spend some time overseas, encouraging people, more than likely teenagers, getting married, and more. If you don't know what you want to do with your life, just look at the little things you do each day and what you're thinking as you do them. You can find your desires in no time :)
Monday, May 30, 2011
Dreams
Ahh. It's Memorial Day, which means I didn't have to work today! While I love my job (I work with the foreign language department at my college as a student tutor) I also love to relax. Today I went for a walk, went swimming, and laid out in the sun. I did some writing, both on this blog and also on a poem I'm working on for my creative writing class. I talked to some old friends and one of the younger girls I mentor in my church. I topped it all off by eating Zaxby's with my sister and her boyfriend. Some good stuff really! I'm now listening to Casting Crowns and thinking about life and God's purpose for me here. There are some things that I'd like to do before I die. I know that this is totally random but I just kinda want to talk about them. They are (in no particular order):
1. Work with teenagers in a church setting. I want to hang out with them, teach them, and encourage them to fall in love with Jesus Christ. I'd love to either marry a youth pastor, be a youth pastor myself, or just work with teenagers. I especially want to work with middle school girls. I think that God put this passion on my heart from getting bullied as a young teenager, then becoming a Christian at age 14 and seeing how much God loved me. Plus, teenagers are just awesome in general!
2. Marry the right person. I want to fall in love with a man who will love God with all of his heart, soul and mind and love me second. I'm still in the process of deciding what I'd like him to be like (this is what dating is for!) but him loving God wholeheartedly and loving me second is a must. Some other things I believe I'd like are a sense of humor/mischief, an ability to carry intellectual conversations with me, a natural love of people, an ability to make people feel welcome and loved, and easy to talk to.
3. Have kids. I want to have a big family and adopt kids if possible. I also want to have people over at my home a lot.
4. Teach high school Spanish and possibly religion. I know that I love to teach other people about other cultures. I love teaching Spanish and I hope to be able to get high school students excited about it, too. I also want people to understand other faiths and why they believe in their own.
5. Spend time overseas, preferably doing mission work. I love other countries and I'd love to live in one for a while, be it a semester, a year, or several years. I also love telling people about my Savior and I'd love to tell people how Jesus can change your life. I'd love to teach English overseas too or work at an orphanage.
6. Use my love of creative arts for God's glory. I love to write and do skits. I'd love to use my writing to glorify God one day and maybe organize a drama ministry in my future church. I also love to play piano.
We'll see where God takes me! As for the moment, He's taking me to the bathroom to scrub the toilet and to do some other fun activities. Hasta luego!
1. Work with teenagers in a church setting. I want to hang out with them, teach them, and encourage them to fall in love with Jesus Christ. I'd love to either marry a youth pastor, be a youth pastor myself, or just work with teenagers. I especially want to work with middle school girls. I think that God put this passion on my heart from getting bullied as a young teenager, then becoming a Christian at age 14 and seeing how much God loved me. Plus, teenagers are just awesome in general!
2. Marry the right person. I want to fall in love with a man who will love God with all of his heart, soul and mind and love me second. I'm still in the process of deciding what I'd like him to be like (this is what dating is for!) but him loving God wholeheartedly and loving me second is a must. Some other things I believe I'd like are a sense of humor/mischief, an ability to carry intellectual conversations with me, a natural love of people, an ability to make people feel welcome and loved, and easy to talk to.
3. Have kids. I want to have a big family and adopt kids if possible. I also want to have people over at my home a lot.
4. Teach high school Spanish and possibly religion. I know that I love to teach other people about other cultures. I love teaching Spanish and I hope to be able to get high school students excited about it, too. I also want people to understand other faiths and why they believe in their own.
5. Spend time overseas, preferably doing mission work. I love other countries and I'd love to live in one for a while, be it a semester, a year, or several years. I also love telling people about my Savior and I'd love to tell people how Jesus can change your life. I'd love to teach English overseas too or work at an orphanage.
6. Use my love of creative arts for God's glory. I love to write and do skits. I'd love to use my writing to glorify God one day and maybe organize a drama ministry in my future church. I also love to play piano.
We'll see where God takes me! As for the moment, He's taking me to the bathroom to scrub the toilet and to do some other fun activities. Hasta luego!
Refuge
My oh my has it been a long time since I've written here! So much has happened in my life since then, which gives me a great opportunity to write this blog. Maybe I'll actually start posting in it again :)
I guess I'll share this much. My grandma, who was like a second mom to me, passed away the day after Thanksgiving after a three-year fight with cancer took its turn for the worst unexpectedly. I miss her a lot. On another note, I've had a few guys in my life since then. Some were in my life for a few dates, others were in my life for several months. However, it's almost June and nothing ever worked out, as you can see by my Facebook relationship status haha.Those experiences helped me grow a lot in my search for looking for God's Mr. Right. Let's see.. I got accepted to Florida State University in the fall so in two months I'll be moving from my small hometown and my now familiar college, Florida State College at Jacksonville to my own apartment in Tallahassee! My mom is horrified by this thought, as my sister (who is now a Seminole and my future roommate too woot woot!) and I will be two hours away from home. Personally, I'm rather excited about leaving the nest, but that's another story....:) This part is probably the hardest part for me to mention, but on April 6 on my way to FSCJ I was in a really bad car accident that totaled my car. I was told later that I should have died in this accident. It was a terrible thing to go through and I still don't have a car. But...I know that God was taking care of me and I'm going to praise Him for keeping me alive that day. I'm sitting here in my pj's on Memorial Day weekend. I have Facebook opened and I just drank an amazing cup of tea. As I look on all of the things I've been through in the past seven months or so, I realize something.
Have you ever lost someone you loved to cancer who helped raise you and watch that person die in a hospital bed? Do you know what it's like to be driving on your morning commute, realize that you didn't see another car coming, and hear the smashes, smell the burning metal, and feel blood pour from your face as you realize you've been in a terrible car accident one random morning? Have you ever been left by someone you loved, be it a significant other, a friend, or often times, both, and wonder if the feelings they expressed for you were ever genuine to begin with? When you go through these things, it feels like your world is falling apart. The ground you were once standing on is crashing in. Your options are to find something new to stand on or to fall. I think that's why when people go through bad times like I have in the past several months do certain things because they've lost what was holding them together in life and so they search for new foundations. They find this in something that will make them happy for a little while, like sex, drugs, drinking, shopping, eating, the list goes on and on. Sometimes they throw themselves into things that will bring them success or at least get their mind off of things, like work, new hobbies, whatever. But in the end of the day, these new foundations will fall apart, too, and once more you'll be without a foundation to stand on.When our world falls apart, or even before it falls apart, our foundations have to be in something that won't change. That is in God and a relationship with Him. God is the only thing that won't change or abandon you for someone else. It's not just a belief in God though; it's a relationship with Him. It's knowing that because He sent Jesus to save us from our own mistakes, He loves us enough to die for someone who doesn't even love Him back. It's knowing that because Jesus died for us, if we believe this wholeheartedly we are made faultless in God's eyes. With that knowledge in mind, a relationship with God is studying the Bible and realizing God's plans and instructions for our lives. It's praying and realizing that God is listening. It's sitting quietly and waiting for what God has to say to you. It's treating other people differently because you know that God wants you to and that He loves everyone, so you should too. It's being so overwhelmed by what God is doing in your life that you have to tell other people what He's done in your life. A relationship with God is like no other, and it's the only foundation I have in my life that I can stand 100% on. It's the only thing that's gotten me through these past few months.
The thing that just frustrates me is that if a girl's boyfriend broke up with her, we would probably tell her "Let's go to the club and get wasted, and maybe we can get a few numbers of someone out there." That's only going to hurt her worse in the end, because that foundation she is building with alcohol and guys is going to come crashing down again, too, and she'll be falling again. We never tell her, "Here, why don't you spend time with God and pray about all of the pain you're going through?" No, God is the butt of jokes, a patriotic gesture in a presidential speech, but never a remedy. I find it ironic that we push away the only thing that can really help us. Perhaps that's why there are so many people hurting today.
With that being said, it's time for breakfast/lunch and a chance to talk to my Creator about some stuff that's ticking me off :) See y'all later!
I guess I'll share this much. My grandma, who was like a second mom to me, passed away the day after Thanksgiving after a three-year fight with cancer took its turn for the worst unexpectedly. I miss her a lot. On another note, I've had a few guys in my life since then. Some were in my life for a few dates, others were in my life for several months. However, it's almost June and nothing ever worked out, as you can see by my Facebook relationship status haha.Those experiences helped me grow a lot in my search for looking for God's Mr. Right. Let's see.. I got accepted to Florida State University in the fall so in two months I'll be moving from my small hometown and my now familiar college, Florida State College at Jacksonville to my own apartment in Tallahassee! My mom is horrified by this thought, as my sister (who is now a Seminole and my future roommate too woot woot!) and I will be two hours away from home. Personally, I'm rather excited about leaving the nest, but that's another story....:) This part is probably the hardest part for me to mention, but on April 6 on my way to FSCJ I was in a really bad car accident that totaled my car. I was told later that I should have died in this accident. It was a terrible thing to go through and I still don't have a car. But...I know that God was taking care of me and I'm going to praise Him for keeping me alive that day. I'm sitting here in my pj's on Memorial Day weekend. I have Facebook opened and I just drank an amazing cup of tea. As I look on all of the things I've been through in the past seven months or so, I realize something.
Have you ever lost someone you loved to cancer who helped raise you and watch that person die in a hospital bed? Do you know what it's like to be driving on your morning commute, realize that you didn't see another car coming, and hear the smashes, smell the burning metal, and feel blood pour from your face as you realize you've been in a terrible car accident one random morning? Have you ever been left by someone you loved, be it a significant other, a friend, or often times, both, and wonder if the feelings they expressed for you were ever genuine to begin with? When you go through these things, it feels like your world is falling apart. The ground you were once standing on is crashing in. Your options are to find something new to stand on or to fall. I think that's why when people go through bad times like I have in the past several months do certain things because they've lost what was holding them together in life and so they search for new foundations. They find this in something that will make them happy for a little while, like sex, drugs, drinking, shopping, eating, the list goes on and on. Sometimes they throw themselves into things that will bring them success or at least get their mind off of things, like work, new hobbies, whatever. But in the end of the day, these new foundations will fall apart, too, and once more you'll be without a foundation to stand on.When our world falls apart, or even before it falls apart, our foundations have to be in something that won't change. That is in God and a relationship with Him. God is the only thing that won't change or abandon you for someone else. It's not just a belief in God though; it's a relationship with Him. It's knowing that because He sent Jesus to save us from our own mistakes, He loves us enough to die for someone who doesn't even love Him back. It's knowing that because Jesus died for us, if we believe this wholeheartedly we are made faultless in God's eyes. With that knowledge in mind, a relationship with God is studying the Bible and realizing God's plans and instructions for our lives. It's praying and realizing that God is listening. It's sitting quietly and waiting for what God has to say to you. It's treating other people differently because you know that God wants you to and that He loves everyone, so you should too. It's being so overwhelmed by what God is doing in your life that you have to tell other people what He's done in your life. A relationship with God is like no other, and it's the only foundation I have in my life that I can stand 100% on. It's the only thing that's gotten me through these past few months.
The thing that just frustrates me is that if a girl's boyfriend broke up with her, we would probably tell her "Let's go to the club and get wasted, and maybe we can get a few numbers of someone out there." That's only going to hurt her worse in the end, because that foundation she is building with alcohol and guys is going to come crashing down again, too, and she'll be falling again. We never tell her, "Here, why don't you spend time with God and pray about all of the pain you're going through?" No, God is the butt of jokes, a patriotic gesture in a presidential speech, but never a remedy. I find it ironic that we push away the only thing that can really help us. Perhaps that's why there are so many people hurting today.
With that being said, it's time for breakfast/lunch and a chance to talk to my Creator about some stuff that's ticking me off :) See y'all later!
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